I lay on my left side facing the screen. The sonographer squirted a clear jelly on the wand and rested it near my sternum. Fascinated, I watched images of my heart fill the screen—pumping, beating, opening, closing. This is amazing, I thought, until I felt the familiar flutters and off beats pounding in my chest. […]
Read MoreRhythms of Remembering
My alarm clock was pretty rude this morning. Five-thirty is pitch dark. The remains of an all-night thunderstorm hung about the air, making my bed the obvious first choice. As my feet hit the floor, as I hunted for my slippers and shrugged on a long cardigan, as I headed to the coffee pot in […]
Read MoreMusic Lessons
I picked out a tune on my grandparents’ old Wurlitzer when I was quite small, plucking the keys to make a melody I recognized. I could hear harmonies before I knew what they were, so my parents signed me up for music lessons when I was seven. I learned basics with one teacher, then switched […]
Read MoreWhen Hope is a Distant Shore
“Hope” was our word. The friend who discipled me during my early twenties reminded me of hope often. We traded it back and forth like a sweater that fit us both perfectly. I borrowed hope when the pregnancy tests kept coming up negative. She took it back when loneliness and singleness chafed. Back and forth, […]
Read MoreWe Don’t Need What We Think We Need
I sat in the optometrist’s office with a searing headache behind my eyes. That’s partly why I was there. The more pressing reason was that I couldn’t see very well. Everything had gone foggy a week before. No matter how I tried to blink the fog away, it clouded my vision as though I were […]
Read MoreWaiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
All told, it was ten years of hard living. There was a future-emptying diagnosis, a move, a new job, a long-failing ministry, a chronic illness, an adoption that unraveled, a brain tumor, severe financial strain, incapacitating loneliness. It felt like too much sometimes, but it was all we knew: one trouble compounding another. And another. […]
Read MoreMore, Not Less
The heat of summer in our little corner of the world has turned everything stale. The trees are beginning to turn, but I think that’s more from heat than from the coming of fall. My husband and I often take our kids to ride on a local bike path on the edge of town. Several small bridges take the bike trail […]
Read MoreMiddle Love
The first time I saw him, I was still in high school. This isn’t a high school sweetheart story, because he didn’t remember my name when I bumped into him a year later. No, the first time we met, I was the only high school member of a college worship team making the two-hour drive […]
Read MoreOur Eyes Are On You
I don’t know where the book came from. I didn’t buy it, don’t remember either of my kids opening it at Christmas or birthdays. Probably, it sneaked in with a pile of hand-me-down books from a neighbor or friend. I rarely say no to books anyway. However it got here, the book about pet monsters was perched […]
Read MoreWhen I Am Afraid, I Will Trust in the Carbon Monoxide Detector
It started with an innocent comment at a family gathering in our home about whether or not we smelled a natural gas leak, and it ended with me perched on a stool at 1:30 in the morning trying to pry the carbon monoxide detector down from the wall to be sure it was working. I […]
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