A few weeks ago at church, we sang the old hymn, “Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross.” I’ve always liked that one because the reprise is essentially a plea to remember the gospel every day until we see Jesus face to face.
In the cross, in the cross/be my glory ever/’til my ransomed soul shall find rest beyond the river.
It’s a hopeful sentiment, really. I agree with it wholeheartedly.
That is, until I move from singing to praying that the Lord will help me remember the gospel over and over, to be kept near the cross of Jesus throughout my day. See, when that happens, I get bogged down in the reasons Jesus was even on the cross.
Me.
My sin.
Every little flare of temper, every prideful thought, every despairing doubt that Jesus is enough for me, every tiny surrender to the lie that this food or that drink or this status or that accomplishment or her life or his reputation will satisfy me more than Christ. I think about the pile of my past sins, the ones I’m stuck in right now, and the future marred by my desires to love anything more than Christ.
Oh, sometimes it feels like too much.
Keeping near the cross seems to illuminate my desperate condition, and rightly so. Too often, I see no further than what I’m making for dinner, which kid didn’t brush his teeth, or when my next deadline is coming up for work. When I pray to be kept near the cross, I become painfully aware of how I’ve ignored the Lord’s presence, sufficiency, and commands. When the examination begins, so does my despair. It’s a lot to swallow.
But, thankfully there’s more to staying near the cross than remembering your sin. We aren’t meant to get stuck at the reasons for the cross. We’re meant to move to the everlasting hope found there, too.
When I confess my sins at Tuesday Bible study or my Thursday accountability meeting, my sisters in Christ are quick to agree that my sin is sin. And let’s be honest, we all need someone to help us say it out loud. It’s not a screw-up or a struggle. It’s sin. I need people in my life to help me call a spade a spade—to name anger for what it is, to spell out pride when we see it in one another, to differentiate between good desires and idolatry.
But, those fellow believers are also quick to remind me that Jesus has paid for my sins. To be kept near the cross means remembering what Jesus accomplished at the cross for all that sin of your past, present, and future. Keeping near the cross means preaching the gospel to yourself over and over—day in, day out. Hour in, hour out. I am a sinner saved by grace through faith in Christ who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I am free from sin and am now a new creature in Christ, slave to righteousness. Repeat that to yourself. Every time temptation strikes close; every time a near-miss turns into a direct hit.
Remember that the cross is where our sin was covered by Jesus. Paid for. In full. It’s hard for me to be okay with that sometimes because it means I contributed absolutely everything to my slavery to it and absolutely nothing to my redemption from it.
But, that’s the beauty of the cross. I could never have freed myself from sin anyway. And when I pray to be kept near the cross, I’m praying to remember how much I’ve been freed from and the One who freed me. Jesus didn’t free me to live as though His sacrifice wasn’t enough. He freed me to be His and to live like Him. If it means I’ll always be way down here at the bottom of the cross trying to remember what’s true about my sin and Jesus’ victory, then so be it. Jesus, keep me near the cross. Help me keep my eyes on You.
The prayer to be kept near the cross isn’t doesn’t mean we must wallow in sin. Rather, you see your sin, acknowledge it, look boldly to Jesus’ payment for it, and then to go and sin no more.
Jesus didn't free me to live as though His sacrifice wasn't enough. He freed me to be His and to live like Him. Share on XPhoto by Ryan Holloway on Unsplash
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness (Crossway), and Memorizing Scripture (Moody). Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
