All told, it was ten years of hard living.
There was a future-emptying diagnosis, a move, a new job, a long-failing ministry, a chronic illness, an adoption that unraveled, a brain tumor, severe financial strain, incapacitating loneliness.
It felt like too much sometimes, but it was all we knew: one trouble compounding another. And another.
After it was over, after things settled down, after life stretched out with a bit of blessed ordinariness, I ran into someone in a parking lot who had made our lives exceptionally difficult several years prior. Without meaning to, I physically flinched and crouched down when I saw them—as if I expected a blow. Or worse. I realized in that moment that I was still living with a fight-or-flight response. Ten years of fighting while wishing flight was an option. I wondered what would happen next.
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These days are different. Oh, life always has its stresses and troubles and trials. I worry about my friend who is fighting a grave illness. I second guess my parenting decisions daily. I wonder if we’ll be able to pay off that medical bill. Life is never trouble-free, not really. Sometimes it’s hard to separate the threads of hope and worry. But we’re in a good season. We are well, happy, excited about what God is doing in our life and ministry, grateful for a life not marked by grief. These are good days.
But sometimes I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I didn’t realize when I was a young Christian that following Christ would include suffering. I mistakenly thought that obedience to the Lord excluded me from suffering. So, when my life took a hard turn in my twenties, I began to understand what Scripture teaches about following Jesus: it’s hard. And sometimes, it’s very hard.
As the trials piled up and spilled over into every corner of my life, I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without them. Yet here I am. And now that I’m in that “without them” place, I wonder what’s coming around the bend. I find myself unable to fully rest in the good days. I wonder what hard thing the Lord will allow into our life next. I fear it sometimes—a great unknown.
I’ve had conversations about this with other believers who believe that God is sovereign over our suffering. We may not question “why?” as much as “what’s next?” We understand that God allows trials into our lives to make us more like Jesus. If he suffered, then as his followers, we will too. It’s a cause for joy, a blessing, Peter tells us, to share in the sufferings of Christ (1 Pet. 4:12-16). When we learn to face suffering as something that refines our faith, then we might begin to suspect that suffering is hiding around every corner. And in expecting it, we might learn to fear it—because while suffering can be refining, it is hard.
Fearing unknown, future trials is not the same as expecting them. Waiting in fear for the next shoe to drop, so to speak, isn’t what Peter meant when he encouraged us to “not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Pet. 4:12). While we should expect suffering, we don’t have to fear it. Jesus promised us trouble, but he didn’t leave us without hope. He said, “In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
But take heart, he said. In the end, victory is his and it is sure. We don’t have to fear the other shoe that may drop with loads of pain and heartbreak. Not because we’re guaranteed a trouble-free existence (we’re not), but because our existence is upheld by the victorious Son of God! His death and resurrection guarantee our eventual place before the throne of God in heaven. His victory is our confidence. We can praise God for the peaceful days while knowing they may not always be this way, yet trusting that he has wisely and sovereignly ordained each one (Ps. 139:16). If we spend the ordinary days fearing future suffering, we rob ourselves of gratitude for what God has ordained for our lives today. Fearing isn’t expecting.
We don’t have to fear the other shoe that may drop with loads of pain and heartbreak. Not because we’re guaranteed a trouble-free existence (we’re not), but because our existence is upheld by the victorious Son of God! Share on XHow can we expect to suffer without flinching in fear?
How do we live today without perpetually bracing for the next blow?
We prepare for future trials by practicing gratitude for whatever today looks like. We praise God for the breath in our lungs, for the rising of the sun, for the tasks before us, for the steadfastness of his Spirit living in us, for the way Jesus intercedes for us, for the enduring Word of God. We feed our hearts with his Word, anchoring our days in his good character. He is sovereign over this good day and the next hard one. He is sovereign over your ordinary days and your difficult ones. And because he cares for you, you can trust him with both.
It’s good to thank the Lord for a season of rest. You don’t have to live in fear for what’s coming next in your life. If it’s hard, he’s with you. If it’s easy, he’s with you. You need him for every good day and every bad one. Whatever form of suffering comes up next in your life—he holds it. Your days are securely in his hands because he is sovereign and good, and he cares for you. He will not waste any trials in your life but will use them for good.
In this world, you will have trouble, so don’t be surprised by it.
But take heart.
He has overcome the world, so don’t live in fear of it.
Thank him for today and trust him with tomorrow.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book, The Promise is His Presence? Get your copy today!
Photo by Filippo Ruffini on Unsplash
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness (Crossway), and Memorizing Scripture (Moody). Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
