More than Many Sparrows

“Is the Lord enough for you?” he asked me.

It was late, nearing midnight, and rather than sleeping, my husband and I were sitting in the living room discussing some current challenges in our life. And by “discussing,” I mean that I was loudly airing my frustrations and expressing the awful truth that I did not see God’s goodness to us in some of these things.

So my husband’s question to me both chastised and angered me, especially considering that it is the theme of the book I am turning into my publisher in a month. Spending eight months writing about a topic doesn’t make you an expert, apparently. It only highlights what will always be a struggle. With angry tears on my face, I skirted the question by responding with my doubt. “I don’t see how a continued struggle with no solution is God’s way of being good to us.”

But my husband’s question was the right question, and I’ve been mulling it over since then. If the things I’ve begged for in daily prayer never, ever change, is the Lord enough for me?

It’s a question the Lord has put to me throughout all of my adult life. If there are no children in your future, am I enough for you? If your life never looks successful, am I enough for you? If you always struggle to pay your bills, am I enough for you? If you lose your child, am I enough for you? If you are never healed from physical pain, am I enough for you? 

When He puts the question to you, it might look different, but the crux is the same. If you don’t get the job, am I enough for you? If your kids are rebellious, am I enough for you? If your spouse leaves you, am I enough for you? If you never get well again, am I enough for you? If you lose your possessions, am I enough for you? If you are never married, am I enough for you? If you are betrayed by a loved one, am I enough for you? If you are fired, am I enough for you? If your child is sick, am I enough for you? If you don’t know how to make ends meet, am I enough for you? If you fail in your work or ministry, am I enough for you?

When I think about the way I’ve answered the question in the past, most of the time I’ve lived as though He isn’t enough for me. But my poor reactionary behavior doesn’t declare what is true about God. Though I have expressed my lack of belief in His sufficiency, it doesn’t negate the truth that He still really is enough for me. In fact, He is enough for me in spite of my doubt.

The question of His sufficiency forces us to pin down what we treasure the most: the answer to our prayers or the One to whom we pray. Can we be content if all we have is Christ? Theoretically, I want to always respond immediately with a resounding YES! I’m sure you do, too. But, when the bills are stacked so high you can’t bear to open them, can you really declare the Lords’ sufficiency? When you’re so bent over with chronic pain that you can barely function, will you confidently say that God is enough for you? When you’re so lonely you can’t stand another night alone, will you in that moment speak the words of God’s faithfulness?

Practically, it’s hard to apply what we want to believe to our present circumstances. Our troubles are frighteningly real, tangible, and sometimes armed with a ticking clock. We scramble for a solution and fill our sleepless nights with frenetic worry. Striving is the best word I can think of to describe the incessant, fruitless spinning we do when confronted with circumstances we hate but are powerless to change. Like a hamster running as hard as it can in its stationary wheel, striving produces absolutely nothing helpful. What’s interesting about the biblical commands that address our striving, worrying hearts is the absence of physical actionable steps. When Jesus talks about worry in the Sermon on the Mount, He doesn’t give you three steps for “breaking up with worry.” He doesn’t lay out a financial plan for making ends meet, nor does He tell you how to plan your future to avoid similar circumstances. His answer to worry and anxiety is found in addressing where our treasure lies. It’s found in trusting the faithfulness of God. In true, Jesus-like fashion, our Savior doesn’t address the circumstances. He addresses the heart.

“Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky; They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?” (Mt. 6:25-26)

He doesn’t say, seek out a better financial plan, or search for as many possible solutions to your health problems as you can, or manipulate your conversations so as to win back the approval you’ve lost. He doesn’t say try harder, do more, do better. He simply says, “Don’t worry.” And the reason is found a few verses down after He demonstrates the Father’s good care of something as insignificant as grass and flowers which are here today and gone tomorrow. “Won’t He do much more for you–you of little faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will be we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father in heaven knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you” (Mt. 6:30b-33).

Oh, Jesus with the zinger! To eagerly seek the provision for our needs rather than the Provider of them is nothing short of idolatry. He’s asking you: What’s your treasure? The gift or the Giver? When you do not yet have the things you pray for, am I enough for you? His encouragement to you is to stop running in the hamster wheel and decide in your heart that He is enough for you. He knows your needs, and you can trust Him with your past, present, and future. When God doesn’t swoop in to answer our prayers immediately, it is not because He is searching for His sufficiency. If He waits, it is because He is working something good from our waiting. If He prolongs our trial, it isn’t because He delights in our suffering but because He delights in cultivating our trust in Him. He will always be enough for us, but sometimes it might take scraping the bottom of the bucket for us to truly see that He is.

When God doesn't swoop in to answer our prayers immediately, it is not because He is searching for His sufficiency. If He waits, it is because He is working something good from our waiting. Share on X

I think back to the night on the couch where my worries got the best of me, and I couldn’t get off the hamster wheel (or to be honest, I didn’t want to jump off of it because there is something sinfully satisfying in spinning my wheels). My husband’s pointed question was exactly the one I needed to consider. The circumstances, though, frustrating, are not the point. The point is where my contentment, security, and identity lie. If my circumstances never change–if yours never do–is the Lord enough for us? Scripture resonates with His faithful sufficiency, and we must fight the lie that He has left us to flounder in our troubles. We fight it by pressing ourselves up against the truth of Scripture every morning to remember that the One who has been faithful in the past will be faithful today and tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow.

The question of God’s sufficiency is one I must re-answer every morning when my feet hit the floor. Though my head may assent to the truth that He is enough, I have to re-arm my heart with certainty because it struggles so much to keep up. It is grace to go back to the core of the gospel and to remember that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was sufficient to cover all my sin, even these moments of angry doubt about His current provision. He was enough at the cross, so He will always be enough.

I don’t know what any day holds, but I know Who holds my days. He even holds the days of a bird so tiny and insignificant that most of us only think about them when we read Matthew 6. Isn’t He enough for us? As Jesus put it, “Aren’t you worth more than many sparrows?”

If He prolongs our trial, it isn't because He delights in our suffering but because He delights in cultivating our trust in Him. Share on X

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Photo by SK Yeong on Unsplash