It’s nearly 7 a.m. when I close my Bible, put the notebook aside, drop the pen in the coffee mug that holds its mates on my desk. I could use fifteen more minutes, but my time is up.
My kids are stirring across the hall, and the serenity of this pale blue room, dimly lit from the morning sun, fades quickly as I’m pulled from the quiet world where I’ve been hiding reading and praying. My coffee’s gone cold in my cup, and I wrestle with the transition of leaving my writing room and putting on my “mom” hat. Well, I never really take that hat off, I guess. It would be more accurate to say I’ve been wearing it backwards since we tucked the kids in last night, and now it’s time to turn the hat around and step into my role more fully.
A dozen little things go wrong.
One kid wakes up cranky and demanding, the other one won’t stop begging me for video games. The breakfast I fixed wasn’t what was desired, I forgot to pay a bill, I have a head ache. The laundry is piled up, and as I’m pulling exactly fifty-one cents from the baby’s mouth (I wish it weren’t true), I just feel plain insulted by the sink full of dishes I was too tired to wash last night.
Before I know it, I’m irritable and crabby. I yell at my kids, snap at my husband, and indulgently decide to lie down instead of work when the baby takes his morning nap even though I know it will make me run late on everything all day. I’ve had twelve arguments in my head with that person who made a snippy offhand comment to me the other day, and anger bubbles up, spilling over into every thought, word, and action.
What happened to the peaceful time with the Lord that I enjoyed this morning?
What was the point of getting up early, blearily ignoring the snooze button, and dragging myself out of the warm cocoon of blankets if everything I “learned” during my time with Jesus goes flying out of my head with the tiniest annoyance?
How can I connect what I’ve spent the first hour the day learning with my work, my parenting, my relationships, my marriage, my decisions?
Will I always leave all the good stuff God is teaching me in the room with my Bible and notebooks? What good is it if I don’t see any fruit from it?
I’ve asked all of those questions with regularity. Sometimes it seems like the warm glow of time spent in the Word is harshly scraped away by the immediate derailment of my day. But–when we leave the room and close down the hour of study and prayer, it isn’t as though we’re ending one session and beginning another. It may feel that way when the baby is screaming or you’re stuck in traffic that will certainly make you late for work. I would do anything in a stilted moment of stress or anger to recapture the peace that dominated those quiet moments in my writing room when it was just me, my Bible, and my Savior. But the reality is that there is…reality. And rather than separate my cherished morning time with Christ from the other fifteen waking hours of my day, I’ve got to connect what I hope sunk down deep into my heart at 6:15 a.m. with what’s directly in front of me—whether that’s a toddler having a tantrum, a looming deadline for work, a family crisis, or the argument I just initiated with my husband (recently true story, unfortunately). This is where the apostle Paul’s statement to Timothy is really helpful:
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that every man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (HCSB)
If we believe that all of God’s Word is, in fact, HIS unfailing and inerrant words to us, then it is to be our standard for living. Paul says that Scripture is useful for four things (teaching, rebuking, correcting, training) and then tells us why: so that every believer will be complete and equipped for every good work. This is such a practical passage because it shows us pragmatically how the Scripture applies to our every day lives by teaching us, calling us out on sin, correcting our errors, and training us to follow Christ. These are ways that you can practically take what you learned from your Bible study and apply it directly to the day in front of you. Keep these four ways in front of you when your good intentions crash around you and the day seems bent on destroying your faith. Think through these four modes of applying Scripture and remember that you’ve already steeped your heart in the Word. Now is the time to apply it.
When I’m in that argument with my husband, I need to reign in my angry, selfish thoughts and remind myself that following Christ means putting my anger to death. Christian marriage means that I need to respect my husband more than I love myself, and that fighting for what I think I deserve is the very antithesis of following Christ. When I’m frustrated by whining and disobedient children, I know that yelling is not helpful and that God has told me not to exasperate my children. (Boy, God has a lot to say about familial relationships in Ephesians, by the way.) When I’m in freakout mode over the high stack of bills and the low amount of money in the bank account, God brings up those ancient words about His owning the cattle on a thousand hills and how much more He’s concerned with me than the sparrows He so regularly provides for. He reminds me to cast my cares on Him since He cares about me, and that my worry produces nothing good (Psalms, Matthew).
Scripture both rebukes and corrects my sin. The Word tells me what not to do, but it also tells me what TO DO instead. It’s not just emptying your life of sinful behavior, as if that were ever enough. No, it’s a lifelong lesson of remembering that Jesus took on all your sinful behavior at the cross and that as a result you are not a slave to sin anymore. Go, sin no more. Go, and pattern your life after Him by doing what He tells you. God repeatedly gives us ways to fill our minds and hearts with good thoughts, good actions, sanctified ways of response that are pleasing to Him and good for our relationships with others. Here is where the Holy Spirit does a lot of work as our Helper. He brings those things to mind that we’ve read and studied and prayed about day after day. He uses the unfailing patience of God to teach us to emulate Him as we parent, mentor, relate, and love. He gives us direction and He enables us to do it because it is Him who is at work within us, so that we can love and serve unreservedly–for His glory and the spreading of His kingdom.
Some mornings I hesitate at the door of my writing room. I don’t want to leave. The serenity of the morning will cease to exist when I turn the knob, and I’m afraid of all my potential screw-ups on the other side. But my sanctification awaits in the hallway, and this is where my life as a follower of Jesus takes its breath and stretches and grows, even in floundering and failing. True Jesus-following life was never meant to be lived in solitary confinement, no matter how peaceful and unbroken that quiet hour of the day promises to be. I can always get back to my quiet hour tomorrow morning. But my faith will not be challenged and tested if I never open the door to see how well God’s Word stands up to all that challenges and wounds and scares me.
I’ve prepared for this. Leaving the room.
Meeting with God in the mornings to dig into Scripture—this is where He helps me unearth everything I need and where I learn to hear and recognize and love His voice. This is when I hide His words down deep in my heart, where they get wrapped and knotted tightly around my slowly growing faith. His words are strong enough and loud enough to be heard throughout the day when everything fights for my affection and attention. It’s safe to turn the knob and leave the room. He goes with you.
This is post #8 and the final post in the series “Knowing God in His Own Words.”
Post #1 “Knowing God in His Own Words”
Post #2 “Do I Need the Bible Every Day?”
Post #3 “Know Him Because We Need Him”
Post #4 “The Morning Person Myth VLOG”
Post #5 “Bible Study Methods + VLOG demo”
Post #6 “The Beauty of the Dry Spell”
Post #7 “I Can’t Read the Bible When the Baby is Crying”
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness (Crossway), and Memorizing Scripture (Moody). Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
Lynn Morrison says
Once again, you’ve outdone yourself . . . stellar blog !
Marissa Henley says
Yes, the struggle of leaving the room is real. I also wonder sometimes if that time in the Word accomplished anything once I start interacting with my family and the challenges of the day. Thank you for sharing so openly and encouraging me!