Maybe you’ve said these words before: “I can’t read the Bible when the baby is crying.” I know I have.
When people tell me that their babies started sleeping through the night at six weeks old, I kind of want to punch them in the face. (The parents, not the babies.) If they tell me their babies started sleeping through the night before that, I can’t be their friend anymore. It’s not personal. (Well, maybe it is.)
Neither of my babies slept through the night as infants. My older son gave up his midnight feeding at four months but still woke throughout the night consistently until he was about 10 months old. My younger son held on to that 2 am feeding until he was almost 9 months old. Granted, both of them are rock solid sleepers now; they go to bed without any fussing or use of stalling tactics, and they sleep all night. But I’ll be honest, the first year of each of their lives was tough on me both as a new, young mom with my first baby, and then seven years later as a tired, older mom with my second. Doing something like reading my Bible with an infant in the house seemed about as likely to happen as my becoming the next president of the United States.
At the other end of the spectrum are people who find themselves caring for an aging parent. My mom lived in this reality for several years, and as she spent daytime and nighttime hours caring for her mother, I remember her once telling me that she deeply missed her regular time for studying the Word and prayer. She wanted to be everything her mother needed (and in sharing the responsibilities with my aunt, she was just that), but it required a lot of personal sacrifice. Waking throughout the night was a regular occurrence during one period of her caregiving, and because it was followed with daytime caregiving, it was much like taking care of an infant. I remember what I told my mom, because I reminded myself of the same thing when I was in that newborn fog with my second baby: “You have prepared for this. You have spent years studying and hiding the Word in your heart. This time of on-the-clock caregiving is a season, and it won’t last forever. Remind yourself of all the Scripture you have stored up in your mind and heart, and dwell on it when you don’t have time to sit down and study.”
Yes, this is just a season. And it may be a long one, but it shouldn’t last forever.
Give yourself some grace, Mama.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, Daughter.
What if the season of little sleep, parenting young children, or taking care of a parent seems prolonged? Do you check out spiritually until the season ends? What can you do during that period of time to prevent losing any intake of the Word on a regular basis? Is there anything you can do to carry yourself along until life slows down or reorients itself to a more doable routine?
I want to give you a few practical ways to get some semblance of Scripture and study into your day, even if you’re stretched really thin. The thing to remember, though, is that seasons don’t need to become your lifetime normal. If you’re just overly busy and it’s not because of babies keeping you up or because you’re a caregiver, then it might be time to say “no” to some things so that you can say “yes” to the best things. I’ve already established that every believer needs the Word of God on a regular basis. You can’t grow spiritually without a steady diet at the table of Scripture. Don’t let what should be a season morph into a way of life. Treat seasons as times to extend grace to yourself, but when you can fight for normalcy, DO IT.
Until then, consider these fringe moments and tips as helpers until you can move out of your current window of crazy. Feel free to offer your own in the comments; this is by no means an exhaustive list!
Naptime
If you’ve got littles who nap, this is your first window of time to crack open your Bible. I realize it may also be your only time to shower or eat or pay bills or make a phone call. If you can count on a pocket of time each day without a child attached to your body, then try to dedicate a small portion of that time to sitting down with your Bible and a cup of coffee. You don’t have to spend your whole hour here, but you won’t regret devoting part of your hour to the Lord. You’re living in the trenches while you parent little ones or care for a family member full time. You NEED some time to refresh your weary soul. It’s okay to admit you’re tired, inside and out. Read through the Psalms, or take two paragraphs a day from the gospel of Mark. You may not have the time to follow the methods I’ve laid out for in-depth study, but you can read and absorb and pray.
Early morning
Okay, I can hear you laughing. The whole point of this post is that mornings don’t work when you’ve got kids keeping you up all night. But, if you’re like me and your kiddo’s naptime is dedicated to a regular activity or chore (for me, it’s writing), then you may just have to extend your sleep deficit a little more for the sake of spiritual health. With my second baby, I was older and tireder (I know it’s not a real word, but we all say it). I needed sleep like WOW. I attempted to compensate by going to bed as soon as the baby was asleep. I knew I had to get up for feedings, I knew I was going to be exhausted in the morning, but I also knew that it would be way too easy to simply give up on reading my Bible and blame it on the screaming baby. {My disclaimer here is that we were living through the darkest and most uncertain days of our life at that time and I was absolutely desperate for the Lord’s nearness and reassurance. That got me out of bed on the mornings the baby happened to sleep past six.} Mornings were hard, but eventually the baby did sleep through the night, and now I get a solid 7-8 hours myself. Let me be honest here: I am not Superwoman, but I lived for five years with an average of about 3 hours of sleep per night due to chronic, waking pain. I sincerely understand long-term sleep deprivation. Your body is tired, but I assure you, so is your soul. And your soul needs the rest and encouragement found in the Word.
Bedtime
You night owls, this is for you. I don’t understand you or your late night bursts of creativity and productivity. But maybe this time of day is best for you. It’s like speaking a foreign language to me, so I won’t try to elaborate on a subject I know little about. But, don’t forget that right before bed, after the kids are asleep, is also an option. For some people. Not me.
Listen while you work
I can’t for the life of me remember where I heard the following story (a Google search was no help; I think I read it in a book), but I once read an anecdote of someone’s mother many decades ago who was so busy raising her children and cooking and cleaning, that she took to propping up her Bible at the table where she kneaded the dough for the bread she would bake for her family each day. She would look up and read, knead the dough, look up and read, knead the dough. I love that image of a busy mom going to such lengths to incorporate Scripture into her day. And what a model she must have been to her children! So I tried to imagine the modern day equivalent of this since I’m not doing too much bread baking in my life. I think it could translate into listening to the Bible on audio while cooking or cleaning or chauffeuring the kids around town. It could mean picking a book of the Bible and listening to a podcast or audio sermon series through that book while you’re getting ready in the mornings or folding laundry in the afternoons. You’re just absorbing in a different way when you’re listening. My dad has always traveled a lot for work. I wish we knew how many miles he’s put on his vehicles throughout the years. Hundreds of thousands, at least. At one point he had the entire Bible on a set of CDs (this was before the MP3), and he listened to them while he drove hours in his truck every day. This is a great way to supplement your Bible intake or to serve as your means of Scripture consumption if you struggle to carve out time to sit down with your Bible during the day. It shouldn’t be your permanent solution to daily intake, but it’s a great supplement and a fine alternative in the mean time.
Memorization
You weren’t expecting this, were you? Don’t write it off just yet! I think memorization can be a useful tool when you need to comfort a crying baby rather than sit down to read the Bible or think seriously about Scripture. I used to think that my youngest son had some kind of newborn radar that let him know the exact moment I was laying my head on the pillow or sitting down to open my Bible. He was so prompt with his shrill cry—I wondered if he was secretly some kind of superhero—like Superman, able to detect the exact millisecond when Mom thought it was safe enough to sit down. It was uncanny, really.
I digress.
Scripture memorization is hard, or so we say. We all tell ourselves we’re terrible memorizers, and maybe that’s true for some of us, but I bet most of the time we’re selling ourselves short at best. At worst, we’re just being lazy. We can quote lines from The Office or lyrics to songs we heard as children, but we seem to set ourselves up for failure when it comes to remembering verses from the Bible. If you’ve read the Bible for very many years, I bet you remember more than you think you do. When the baby won’t let you sit down for a quiet time or when as a caregiver you struggle to have a regular time to study, try shifting your focus to memorization. Put note cards around your house, on the dash of your vehicle, above the sink where you wash dishes. Read the same verses over and over until you can say them without looking. As you’re trying to memorize them, think about the words and what they mean. Think about the context in which they were written. What thoughts do they give you about God? About Jesus? About humanity? How could you apply them? <— See what you’ve done there? You’ve studied a passage or a verse through the act of memorizing and thinking deeply about it (what we call “meditation” as Christians; not to be confused with emptying your mind as with mysticism or eastern religions). My husband will often type out a passage for memorization, slip it upside down into a gallon size ziploc bag and tape it (zipper down) to the wall of the shower. If you’re showering every day, you’ll see the passage every time. Also, dry erase markers work great on mirrors—try writing your passage of choice on your bathroom mirror and you’ll see it when you’re brushing your teeth or putting on makeup.
Grace + Seasons
Mamas, listen. I know your baby has to eat and be held and changed and loved and nurtured. Baby needs you. Don’t feel guilty for putting down your Bible to pick up the baby when she needs you.
Alternatively, if baby is content in the bouncy seat, don’t feel guilty for putting him there for a few minutes when you need to pick up your Bible.
If your elderly mother is resting, don’t feel like you’re wasting time by resting yourself. One day that might mean a nap. The next day it might mean quickly gobbling up some wisdom from your Bible.
Remember that seasons are just that—seasons, though they may at times be lengthy. Like those dry spells I wrote about recently, they don’t usually last forever. You can still grow as you persevere through them. The Lord can teach you in small fractions of time. He sees your devotion to serving your family, and that honors Him as you fill the roles He has called you to in this time of your life. You may feel like you have to choose who you will be devoted to, but you don’t have to neglect time with the Lord—even if it feels like all you have are snatches of borrowed moments. He is still near and His Word is still available, even in fragmented nooks and crannies of your day.
Press on, friends.
This is post #7 in the series “Knowing God in His Own Words.”
Post #1 “Knowing God in His Own Words”
Post #2 “Do I Need the Bible Every Day?”
Post #3 “Know Him Because We Need Him”
Post #4 “The Morning Person Myth VLOG”
Post #5 “Bible Study Methods + VLOG demo”
Post #6 “The Beauty of the Dry Spell”
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness (Crossway), and Memorizing Scripture (Moody). Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
Katie Blackburn says
Hi Glenna, I’m over here from the Hope Writers group and just wanted to give you a high five and- if you were comfortable with it- a little bum slap of solidarity My youngest is 8 months (3 in 3 years!) and we are drowning in all things kids, but I’ve never known my great need for God’s word more and love how you’ve reminded all us mamas to fight for it! Blessings, Katie
Glenna Marshall says
Hi Katie!
Thanks for your comment, and I’ll take any symbol of solidarity if it means I’m not alone in raising babies that didn’t sleep!
There’s nothing like parenting to remind us how desperate we are for Christ every day…and there’s nothing like parenting to make it nearly impossible to carve out time for what we need the most!
Blessings to you and your growing family!
-glenna
Stephanie Young says
Thank you again for this reminder on Twitter today! Apparently I need reminding even though you just taught this at the FBC Jackson Ladies Retreat less than two weeks ago!
I set my alarm 30 minutes earlier the week after we got back. The first morning, my alarm went off and I was so excited! I turned my head to the right to shut it off and looked right into the eyes of my almost three year old. Who knows how long she had been standing there. I sent her back to bed, but was reminded that the enemy will do all he can to keep me from having my time in the Word. Thank you for your encouraging words and tips for this season of life. I’m sure I will miss it when they are teenagers and we have to drag them out of bed in the mornings! Maybe
Glenna Marshall says
Stephanie, is the anything creepier than waking up to a small human staring at you all still and quiet?? ?
I’m glad to hear you’re pressing on and trying to make new habits even in such a busy season! I know I’ll miss these parenting years, but they can be exhausting while you’re in the trenches. I wish I had made more of an effort to be in the Word when my oldest was a little one. I’m learning as I go!